So many of us default to silence because history confirms that when we speak up, we do it poorly. Despite our best intentions, we let our emotions get the best of us and we lash out or get emotional. Our heightened emotions are the catalyst for an uncomfortable conversation. The other person grows defensive, angry, and reacts with the same level of emotion. If we manage to deliver our feedback calmly and collectively, the outcome is about the same. Even then, the other person reacts defensively, and the relationship feels strained. We can’t win, so we learn to hold our tongue and bad behaviour persists.